I stared blankly. The blank portion of my devotional stared back. What’s my mission? My purpose in this season? Condemnation began filling up the space inside. If the principle is that Jesus invites each of us to join Him in His redemptive mission, shouldn’t I have a mission field?
Shouldn’t I be burdened for evangelizing my neighbor, my family,
my FB friends, some cross-section of society, or the peoples of distant lands? Why do I
feel immobilized? Uninspired? Why do I lack the energy and direction to reach out? I
had recently spent 4 months in Mexico, ministering to orphans and impoverished
communities. But what now? What does God want for this season?
And then it hit me. I am God’s mission field. In this season of my faith He’s calling me to join His redemptive mission in my own heart. To minister healing to the broken and wounded places inside of me. To restore life to the dead places inside of me. To cleanse me of all guilt, shame, and vileness that’s made its home within my soul. To cast out demonic strongholds – lies of the enemy that have been allowed to take root and make a home in my heart. To proclaim to my very soul, “The kingdom of heaven is at hand!”
It’s a dangerous mission. There will be pain. There will be resistance. Even death will be necessary. The crucifixion of the old man. The old beliefs. The old habits. The old attitudes. And I’m scared. Scared of my own heart. Scared of what will be found when the light of Jesus shines there. I feel like a sheep, being sent out amongst the wolves. But I do not go alone. Jesus has made the way. He knows the terrain. He will provide the direction and instruction. And He will be present. Never leaving me to face the unknown by myself.
Thank you God for valuing me so deeply that my own heart is an important part of your redemptive mission. Thank you for giving me permission, time, and space to walk through a season of inner healing. Thank you for walking the road with me, and promising to never leave me. Please grant me the strength and courage to follow wherever you lead, and to hold fast the promise of restoration. May Your kingdom come, and Your will be done in me, as it is in heaven. Amen.